Programmer 1: We have a problem.
Programmer 2: Let’s use RegEx!
Programmer 1: Now we have two problems.
I’d like to make the world a better place, but they won’t give me the source code.
IT vtipy
Q: Whats the chemical formula of compressed liquid oxygen?
A: O2.zip
Comparing drug dealers and software developers:
DD: Refer to their clients as "users".
SD: Refer to their clients as "users".
DD: "The first one's free!"
SD: "Download a free trial version..."
DD: Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).
SD: Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
DD: Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag," "E".
SD: Strange jargon: "SCSI", "ISDN", "Java", "RTFM"
DD: Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
SD: Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
DD: Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes.
SD: Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines.
DD: Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers.
SD: Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.
DD: Their product causes unhealthy addictions.
SD: Their product causes unhealthy addictions - DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.
DD: Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.
SD: Damn! Damn! DAMN!!!
The shortest programmer joke: I’m nearly done!
Programmer’s son asks his father: Dad, why do the sun rise on the east and set on the west?
Father: It works? don’t touch it.
A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
Q: "Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
A: Inheritance
There are two types of people in this world those who understand recursion and those who don’t understand that there are two types of people in this world...
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, damned lies, and benchmarks.
"Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
Životné motto
Prihlásenie
